If you have concerns about sex, sexual health or intimacy with others, the last thing you probably want to do is talk about them (it’s so much easier to try and ignore a problem and hope it goes away.) Experience (or our parents) tell us that trying to forget our problems rarely helps, and often makes things just get worse, we have to face them. There is a form of therapy is available to help you do just that — confront your sexual issues and work out the kinks, or work with them.
Researchers found men who saw a sex therapist for 12 weeks—reported significant gains in sexual function and/or satisfaction, while men who didn’t receive therapy saw no improvement. However many do not seek out help, why? Sex is such a taboo topic in most western cultures—most people don’t know much about sexual difficulties, or what’s normal and what’s not. In my experience as a therapist and sex educator I have seen that sharing even a little information in a session can be life-changing for people.
Sex therapy is like other types of counseling, it’s done in a professionals office, with your clothes on using your voice and your mind. The therapist will help you work through emotional issues that might be leading to what concerns you, or that may be blocking you from enjoying a healthy sexual life.
- Have you felt like your desire for sex, or even just cuddling, is too low (or too high)?
- Are issues in the bedroom becoming issues in your relationship?
- Do you have anxiety when you think about sex, or during moments of intimacy?
- Is a difference in sex drives making waves with your partner (or partners)?
- Have you found sex to be uncomfortable, or felt unable to relax during intimacy?
- Have you been preoccupied by shame or questions about sex, sexual orientation, gender identity or things you desire as part of sexual gratification?
- Do you have issues of sexual abuse or trauma?
These are some concerns a certified sex therapist such as myself can be of assistance with. Sexuality incorporates family or origin, culture, social and religious beliefs. Your sexuality is unique, and changes with aging, health status and personal experience. Sex affects relationships and each partner may have unique attitudes, needs and responses. A breakdown in any area may lead to sexual dysfunction.
What about Kink, Pornography and Sex Addiction…
I am kink-friendly, and sex positive in orientation. I work with those who have a variety of fetishes, and those who have none. I believe that erotic playing, exploring desires and behaviors that may seem tabu does not indicate a problem, but for some they are. The power dynamic can be a turn-on for one or both participants. No one should be pressured to engage in any sexual behavior they do not want. Mutual consent and mutual satisfaction is the goal.
With the media hype surrounding porn and sex addictions, you might start to question your own sexual habits. Chances are you aren’t suffering from an addiction, but if you’re feeling guilty about anything you’re doing or feeling, talking to a professional might help you sort out why, and if there is a cause for concern.